A Satirical Soup for the Human Soul!

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The reality of life as a human being is that we’re all hypocrites. There is no way around it; we are imperfect, judgmental hypocrites. From the beginning of time, if there has been one trait in humans which has remained intact perpetually, it is what the dictionary calls as hypocrisy. And I’m sorry to say that you (yes you, the one reading this), voluntarily or involuntarily also fall into this category. Say hello to the community which is collectively called as the human race.

You try to get out of the grocery check-out line after paying for the purchases, when the cashier pops the question, ‘Would you like to donate a rupee or two to so-and-so charity?’ You look around and see a lot of cardboard balloons with names on them , which brings to your mind a related TV commercial and you wonder how much of your charity buck goes to the ad agency. Buy a ‘Classmate’ notebook. Read the back cover. “For every four classmate notebooks you buy, ITC contributes Re 1 to its rural development initiative that supports, among other projects, primary education in villages. You can be truly proud that your contribution is part of it.” So if you have bought just one notebook, the corporation’s coercive philanthropy to you is: Buy three more, you cheapstake. Help us help some poor, pathetic underpaid soul in the process. Do you want someone’s illiteracy on your hands, you disgusting creep? Come on, buy three more. Doesn’t matter if our notebooks are not recycled and we cut trees to make new ones. Just think about the life you’ll be saving. Alas! But what about the life they’ll be taking in the process? Such high levels of pharisaicalness.

Let’s turn some pages of history and search for the man who is lovingly known as the Father of the Nation, Mr. MK Gandhi. By the way, ladies, in case you are unaware about the same – Daddy says jewelry, cosmetics a definite ‘No, No’, makes you less virtuous. Jeans, skirts ‘Ugh’. Probably, these are the reasons why he believed that a woman cannot be raped. According to Mr. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, “It is physically impossible to violate a woman against her will. The outrage takes place only when she gives way to fear or does not realize her moral strength.” Translation: A woman can be raped only if she is immoral. Now isn’t that a nice way of saying ‘She got raped, because she was asking for it.’? As father of the nation, he helped perpetuate many of the old traditions such as excusing men for mistakes, while holding women to impossible ideals. To his credit he did dilute these unfair stereotypes and repackaged nicely it with the barrister’s brain. In other words, his life was an experiment with truth, not necessarily getting to the truth, but just an experiment which is still carried on by the successive generations. And look at the irony of the situation. Despite having such an opinion, I will still utter his name every time somebody would ask me who the father of our nation is. Such a dissembler I am!

In a nutshell, there is nothing inherently wrong in being a bigot. At the end of the day, we are all humans. The problem begins when we start judging others on their ironical beliefs, forgetting that we, too, are plagued by the same disease. I think the world would be much better off if we could all accept the failings of everyone and be okay with it. By the way, I don’t like Chemistry but still I am pursuing it. Started judging me already? Such a hypocrite you are!

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